There are certain red flags that might be happening in your relationship that you’re not even aware of. Sometimes, you can be so stuck in the pattern of your relationship that you don’t really take a moment to stop and wonder, “is this really working?” The following are some terrifying things to realize if you’re in a relationship, but can be signs that it may be time to let that person go.

1. You avoid confrontation. This means that tension and problems will bubble under the surface and explode in the worst way possible, rather than nipping it in the bud.

2. Your partner blames others for their problems. Sometimes, that can include you. Placing the blame on other people means that you deflect your problems and aren’t willing to own up to any responsibilities and issues of your own.

3. They seek out what you have low self-esteem about – build you up, then make themselves the hero and go-to person. Cornering is a horrible relationship tactic.