You know what makes 100 percent of all things better? Wine.
Whether you’re crumbling under crippling debt or in the midst of a full-fledged existential crisis, this elixir of the gods (here’s looking at you, Bacchus) has your back. If you’re like me, your favorite wine is dry and under $12, and you’re more than willing to rock that snowman bottle stopper all year ’round because what is money, anyway?
But those of you who can drop more than zero dollars on wine every week should check these out. While the inventors behind things like iPhones and electric cars are cool and all, the geniuses behind these vino-inspired gadgets deserve all of the awards. All of them.
1. This wine glass avoids committing crimes against humanity by never spilling.
2. This accessory — which serves as a cooler, refiner, and aerator — will chill even when you really just can’t.
3. I’m definitely getting this wine dispenser. Just kidding. It’s $6,000 and everything is terrible.
4. Keep track of the fact that you have a problem with this cute cork holder. Nothing like getting a decoration and a rude awakening all in one!
5. Already 5 games deep at the peewee soccer tournament? Forget the rest of them with the help of this portable glass holder.
6. Keep your freshness game on point by vacuum-sealing that nonsense!
7. If learning about wine pairings and being a little extra are your two favorite things, these towels are for you.
8. This gift to the universe takes your cooler and raises you a wine sack.
9. Here’s a wine glass for those of us who are done lying to ourselves.
10. When it comes to acting like a child while babbling incoherently about “being an adult,” nothing beats using a sippy cup.
11. Enjoy a glass without removing the cork with this device. Nothing like having endless funds to blow, am I right?
12. Are you into the thought of DIY wine bottle crafts but also completely incapable of using hot glue without going to the hospital? Same. That’s where these cork candle wicks come in.
Wine is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? If anyone wants to help me live my truth by buying that $6,000 dispenser, I’m accepting donations.